Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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