i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
