well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
