Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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