also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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