Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
