Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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