Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
