are you still at the devil's house?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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