Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
