So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
