Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
