He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
