Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
