Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
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