I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
