no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
