the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The Olympian is in my bed
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
