I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
