found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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