You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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