North Korea, Best Korea!
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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