My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
