hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
