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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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