the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
