D3 body, D1 cock
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I could fuck to npr.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
