I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
