He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
