i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
