It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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