This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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