so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
