I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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