we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
