ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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