Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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