i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
