About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
