I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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