dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
