His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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