i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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