You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
