I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
