so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
