Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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