Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
