Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
