im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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