What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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